the very first of his first days

Today was a big day. Today Henry started school. Pre-Kindergarten for 4 afternoons a week, along with four of his friends in that class of 16 kids. We've been prepping for this since spring, tackling potty training in one weekend's fell swoop, learning to drink from a real cup and lately he's been practicing how to get his underwear and shorts back on. All those big things in life a 2 year old should learn. 'Cause if you master those, well, you just might be able to head off to school by yourself when you're not quite 3, wearing a new robot backpack. You know, all those little things in life a 2 year old finds exciting! And when I look back on his first day I'll want to remember that it was his backpack that made him the most happy in the beginning and then seeing the line of school buses at the end. He really loved it.

I was sure I wouldn't cry as it honestly hasn't bothered me a bit to have him head off to school ... I'm not worried about this transition ... and I'm happy to have a change in our routine, more activity for Henry and more alone time with Walter. So I was honestly surprised that as I drove away, to traverse those 7 blocks home, I burst into tears. It felt really wrong to drive away with only Walter in the back. And though I didn't miss Henry or worry about him I instead saw clearly what this stay-at-home gig was all about. Preparing my children for all these first days, where they are on their own and out of my protection. To realize that already at almost-3 we've reached this big milestone. I'm happy for that and yet I'm also a little bit sad and nostalgic. I was still a little weepy as I pulled into the garage and as I went behind to help Walter out of his seat he noticed my red, wet eyes. I kissed him happily and that sweet boy pulled me in for a real, pat-on-the-back comforting hug, pushing me away to look at my face and then hugged me tight again twice more. Chalk that up to one of my favorite motherhood moments to date, some much needed love and comfort from my tenderhearted boy.

Henry was unfazed by our separation when I picked him up, chirping out a quick hello as he climbed up and down the playground set. His teacher said he was so good and so very polite. Henry said he saw his friend Olivia, he liked his snack, and he wanted to come back again. Walter threw rocks on the slide and I stood there feeling happy with absolutely everything about this very first, First Day.