big brothers and big excitement

Meeting their new brother or sister was a long time coming for Henry and Walter! We had prepped them frequently for the past few months but I wondered how they would react to Mummy suddenly holding a little one in her arms and explaining that her tummy was now "empty". They went over to our friends Mark and Erynn's house for a 2 night sleepover but because of the unexpected complications after the c-section it wasn't until the second afternoon that they came to meet Felix. The Baby is here, the Baby is here! ... Sam and I were so excited to see how they would react. My Mum had arrived the night before so I have the picture in my mind of Walter, then Henry, then Sam and my Mum walking around the curtain in my hospital room ... carrying a Gerber daisy each and Henry looking a little uncertainly at what I was holding in my arms. But immediately they clamoured to get up to see me and then insisted on holding the baby with barely more a glance at Mum! My two big boys (and did they ever look big!) holding their day old brother was what we had been waiting for all this time. Henry was only 12 months old when Walter was born and so this was a whole new experience having a 2 and 3 year old who were aware and excited for this new member of the family. Baby Felix gave his brothers little school buses as seeing the line of buses every day after preschool really is the highlight of their lives. After we unwrapped those, well, Walter was happier to play on the floor rather than hold his squawky brother though before that he was enthralled with planting some perfectly puckered kisses on Felix's head. One of my favorite moments.

So three boys ... I had a feeling ... and seeing them and Sam all together I really felt it was perfect.

after the big reveal, there were lots of cuddles!

introducing felix barnaby morgan

tomorrow, tomorrow!

last days and the latest games

I want to remember taking these pictures ... a few days before Baby arrives ... and the nightly game Henry and Walter play together. They run naked from the bath into our bed across the hall as Sam yells "Whistling Dixies ...!" and burrow themselves under the sheets. There's alot of laughing and squealing and squirming and hiding in the bottom of the bed and pulling the covers up tight around their wee shoulders. They are so funny together now, real brothers and comrades, that we can't help but feel so very thankful that they are indeed so close together in age. Worth it!

The excitement and anticipation is building now, more than ever before, as we are down to hours left. Crazy. I'm still putting off things on my to-do list and I still haven't packed my hospital bag and I'm still naively assuming I won't go into labour early! I will miss this big hard belly terribly but oh, it's been an uncomfortable, take-your-breath-away painful last 10 days or so. I don't remember it being like this in the end with the boys. I'll be happy to be more mobile and limber again soon - as much as one can say that after having abdominal surgery, right?! - but I'm really not ready to say goodbye to pregnancy forever. I was in the hospital last week for all the pre-op paperwork and lab tests and I found myself in the lab bathroom for a necessary urine sample. I caught sight of my belly in the mirror and I just burst into tears right then and there. Feeling sad and sorry and beautiful and nostalgic and unprepared to let go of that happy girl in the mirror. I pulled out my phone and took a few pictures right then and there ... wanting to remember that moment, wanting to remember me.

This past week has been really wonderful as well, simply for the daily change in our usual schedules and all the extra love and help I've been given. A long weekend, my shopping day to Regina with Erynn, another full day Sam was home from work, supper brought over by a friend, the boys at another friend's house practically all day Wednesday just because, my birthday on Thursday with lots of surprises (Sam home in the morning! an iPad inscribed with "We love you Mummy" on the back! coffee and cheesecake delivered unexpectedly from a dear friend! homemade cake and takeout pizza!). It's been so, so nice to have this last week as a change from our usual and to feel as though I've had a bit of a break from my long hours alone with the boys and daily expectations in the kitchen. It's the sameness and the routine which can make me feel a little crazy and frustrated.

And now, on Wednesday, another big change. Sam and I both feel we have a break from our usual in a big way pretty much all the way til the New Year. With his time off work, my parents coming out, my stuffed and stocked freezer as well as food-bearing friends, and our Christmas trip out to Sam's parents on the coast, we're off the hook from our 'usuals' for a good 6 weeks. I can't tell you how exciting that is. Life is fuzzy and overwhelming enough with a newborn without having to think about what to make for dinner! The boys will love having Sam home for a good stretch of time and getting to see both sets of grandparents soon plus a few aunts and uncles and cousins at Christmas. While I rest and recover and have some concentrated time with the baby.

One last belly picture tomorrow and then ... the wait is finally over. I can't wait to share the news with you!

it was a red cup sort of day

photo credit: savoring the details

The Baby Countdown is picking up speed as we have only 10 days to go ... and the incredible reality of single digits tomorrow! We can hardly believe we are so close. Trying now to get all I can get done in these spare moments but wishing too to simply curl up with my book instead! The boys are now sharing Henry's room and the transition seems to have gone pretty smoothly although Walter has been up inexplicably early every morning since he moved beds and so we're hoping he kicks that habit soon! I spent this evening organizing and setting up the Baby's room ... moving up the mattress for the 3rd time, washing new sheets, filling up the shelves with board books and baby toys, and putting out a new red-striped bunny to welcome Baby home. More yet to do, transferring clothes and re-stocking with wee diapers, but it looks good and cozy and ready and ... very boyish with all those primary colours! I'll have to do a quick change of a few colours and accents if a little girl is indeed our Big Surprise!

I had a good long weekend of extra me time as my girlfriend Erynn and I took off early yesterday morning for a long day of shopping in Regina. Shopping and a twice-repeated visit to Starbucks for the holiday red cup drinks we have missed so very much. Erynn's expecting her third boy only 3 weeks after me so we were quite a sight together ... two very pregnant women gleefully on the loose without kids or responsibilities or time restrictions. So incredibly enjoyable. Sam had a good day with the boys and they loved having the time just with him though I couldn't help but be a little happy when Sam told me last night, "I just don't know how you do this everyday". As sometimes that's the exact kind of thanks and recognition you're looking for as a stay at home Mum.

the bed shuffle

Only 3 weekends left to get all we can get done ... today we made sure to put together Henry's big boy bed. We really hadn't been talked about it previously so he was suddenly very excited to find out this was all happening today for him. His room does get very cold in the winter nights but we're not sure if the comfy duvet will work at all as his legs seem to get too tangled up with too many/too heavy of blankets while he still wears his Boots and Bar at night. (Til September ... and am I ever counting down!) But he loves it all, oh does he ever, and all he wants to do is snuggle down under those covers and peek out and giggle. This is the perfect photo to show that! Walter will be going into Henry's open crib bed and they'll be sharing a room now so we'll see how that transition comes together!

Only 3 weekends left. I am so tired, so uncomfortable, so wishing to go back to the heartburn rather than this new torture of nightly insomnia. Wanting to meet this baby. Wanting more time first. Wishing someone would take care of me in these last days, I'll admit, but loving how much Sam does for this family, stretched thin as he is with his time and energy. Happy and thankful to have the friends here I do, who love my kids and are doing and offering all they can to help me. Laughing at my sister who can barely stand the suspense while having to wait impatiently through these next 18 days. Slightly amazed at myself that I've become one of those people who still haven't decided on a name yet, oh dear. And still each day, each full and long and exhausting day, brings us one day closer. To a new baby, to a new family of five, to starting over, to the fog of sleeplessness, to a little squidgy boy or girlie.

We'll have a cozy room all ready for you, Baby, just you wait and see. Your brothers have been more than happy to accommodate for you and shuffle around!