last days and the latest games

I want to remember taking these pictures ... a few days before Baby arrives ... and the nightly game Henry and Walter play together. They run naked from the bath into our bed across the hall as Sam yells "Whistling Dixies ...!" and burrow themselves under the sheets. There's alot of laughing and squealing and squirming and hiding in the bottom of the bed and pulling the covers up tight around their wee shoulders. They are so funny together now, real brothers and comrades, that we can't help but feel so very thankful that they are indeed so close together in age. Worth it!

The excitement and anticipation is building now, more than ever before, as we are down to hours left. Crazy. I'm still putting off things on my to-do list and I still haven't packed my hospital bag and I'm still naively assuming I won't go into labour early! I will miss this big hard belly terribly but oh, it's been an uncomfortable, take-your-breath-away painful last 10 days or so. I don't remember it being like this in the end with the boys. I'll be happy to be more mobile and limber again soon - as much as one can say that after having abdominal surgery, right?! - but I'm really not ready to say goodbye to pregnancy forever. I was in the hospital last week for all the pre-op paperwork and lab tests and I found myself in the lab bathroom for a necessary urine sample. I caught sight of my belly in the mirror and I just burst into tears right then and there. Feeling sad and sorry and beautiful and nostalgic and unprepared to let go of that happy girl in the mirror. I pulled out my phone and took a few pictures right then and there ... wanting to remember that moment, wanting to remember me.

This past week has been really wonderful as well, simply for the daily change in our usual schedules and all the extra love and help I've been given. A long weekend, my shopping day to Regina with Erynn, another full day Sam was home from work, supper brought over by a friend, the boys at another friend's house practically all day Wednesday just because, my birthday on Thursday with lots of surprises (Sam home in the morning! an iPad inscribed with "We love you Mummy" on the back! coffee and cheesecake delivered unexpectedly from a dear friend! homemade cake and takeout pizza!). It's been so, so nice to have this last week as a change from our usual and to feel as though I've had a bit of a break from my long hours alone with the boys and daily expectations in the kitchen. It's the sameness and the routine which can make me feel a little crazy and frustrated.

And now, on Wednesday, another big change. Sam and I both feel we have a break from our usual in a big way pretty much all the way til the New Year. With his time off work, my parents coming out, my stuffed and stocked freezer as well as food-bearing friends, and our Christmas trip out to Sam's parents on the coast, we're off the hook from our 'usuals' for a good 6 weeks. I can't tell you how exciting that is. Life is fuzzy and overwhelming enough with a newborn without having to think about what to make for dinner! The boys will love having Sam home for a good stretch of time and getting to see both sets of grandparents soon plus a few aunts and uncles and cousins at Christmas. While I rest and recover and have some concentrated time with the baby.

One last belly picture tomorrow and then ... the wait is finally over. I can't wait to share the news with you!