christmas morning

We've just returned from almost 2 weeks with Sam's parents on Vancouver Island ... giving me some extra time with family for support and help in that first month of crucial healing after a c-section. Now we are home again, Felix is over 5 weeks old and I am back to my old picking-up-25-and-35-lb-toddler-ways. I don't think Walter could actually believe it when I picked him up a few days ago for a big squeeze and snuggle! Everyone was on their best behaviour for the flight out - I think the other passengers always cringe when a young family boards but we had lots of comments as we were getting off and our three boys were certainly well deserving of them. Felix just ate and slept and nary a peep otherwise ... phew.

Christmas didn't feel like Christmas at all for me this year, I must admit, though it certainly had nothing to do with what Sam's parents did or didn't do. My mother-in-law had it all done up all Christmas-ey as usual and we were all well spoiled and cared for ... I just still felt ... foggy. My only effort this year was getting our Christmas photo cards out in time (and believe me, that felt like a huge effort!) and wrapping the very few Christmas gifts for the boys (read: 4 items) that I brought out earlier on our summer trip. I knew I wouldn't have energy for much else and I assumed that Henry and Walter would be pretty oblivious still to the excitement and anticipation of Christmas. So I was surprised to hear Henry ask most every day if it was time to open the presents yet. So Christmas morning we could finally tell him that it was indeed Christmas and he told us right back that Santa had brought presents for him, smart boy!

So books and balls and Thomas the Tank Engine toys were the highlights of the day, with a big turkey dinner, and a small one month old stripey-suited boy on a stripey blanket. Rain and sunshine and very mild spring-like Island weather. Shortbread cookies and interrupted sleep. Watching The Help on my iPad and going up to Nanaimo by myself to watch The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo. Going to Starbucks a time or two. Spending too many hours on the couch feeding, feeding, feeding. Leaving Henry and Walter in the care of Sam, Nana and Grandad and wondering if I'd ever feel like their in-control, in-charge, with-it Mother again. Feeling so, so tired and muddled and emotional. And feeling excited, even then, about next Christmas when I can put my heart and soul into it and make it really special and exciting for our 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old boys.

But this year was pretty darn special and exciting for them as it was! Thank you Nana and Grandad!