mother's day this year

I was certainly spoiled this year ... spoiled with time. Just the weekend before I had been away to Calgary and Sam of course did an awesome job solo-ing it for 3 days with 3 little men. (Who of course loved having Dad all to themselves that whole time!) Then the day before Mother's Day I was told that I would be kicked out of my own house for 4 hours that afternoon and don't come home til supper. Well, you don't have to tell me that twice! Out on the town I found some cute kelly green flats at Target and some pink polish, baby gifts for the new babies in our circle and some gardening tools for the boys, who have a big area of their own to dig into all they like. Then I sat with a hot latte and a fresh cookie and read and read and r-e-a-d ... now that's my kind of gift! I came home at the stroke of five to all the surprises my four boys had been busy with. Dinner made and on the table, chocolate cake for dessert from Pure Vanilla and three crepe paper bouquets ... truly so much better than real flowers. Sam has always done such a good job at acknowledging the hard work of mothering these past 5 years but I must admit it sure is alot more fun now that the boys themselves get involved. When I came home for supper and even before saying hello Walter completely spilled the beans on the dessert ... after all of Sam's work that afternoon telling them to keep it a secret. That is so Walter!

I've been feeling the shift in this parenting journey lately, as Felix is now a year and a half old and thus we are leaving babyhood behind forever. And it feels really, really good. Having babies back to back and then once Walter was 2 and independent starting all over again ... oh yes, I know how done and done I am with the baby stage. Not to say I still don't have a little cry when I see their little faces in photos from not too long ago. But to start all over again ... to get to know that baby's quirks and schedule, the feeding issues, the sleep issues, then the next feeding issues ... it exhausts and overwhelms me and frankly makes me a little sick just imagining it. And yet Sam and I have been talking lately how real it is that Felix is our last baby and how sad and hard it is to accept that. Our last one to be the wee cuddly size he is now. And still, having a baby or a toddler constantly for the past 5 years has made me feel that is all there is and so it's incredibly exciting for me to realize we're finally moving on.

This fall Henry will be in Kindergarten and Walter in Preschool (by himself, which will be a shocker for him!) and Felix will be sleeping less and walking everywhere, which will mean lots of fun for us. I used to complain to my friends that I just wanted to get out of the dependant stage and they would tell me that it is certainly easier in many ways but much harder in others. Harder and exhausting in different ways. I get that now. I love Henry being able to get the jugs out of the fridge, brush his teeth, put on his shoes and play outside alone for a few hours. But in his growing up I realize how overwhelmed I am in all I should and want to teach him. Sharing and kindness, mean kids, Who is God?, bike safety, stranger danger, personal privacy ... it goes on and on. Now I am looking ahead instead of starting over again and yes, it's a whole new hardness. But so, so fun too, don't get me wrong. Walter at three and a half is the funniest and cutest he's ever been ... how can I bottle that up?

I'm not sure why but for some reason every time I've gone out with the boys in the past 2 weeks I've been getting alot of comments from strangers. Mostly really nice comments at how impressed they are in these well behaved boys as I'm grocery shopping alone with them. And how funny ... as suddenly in the produce section Walter screeches "Mum ... look ... BLUEBERRIES!" as if it's the most exciting thing he's seen all day. But alot of "Oh, you have three boys ...?" with a sympathetic look. I hate that, how little boys always get such a bad rap and how you as their Mother must be tortured and going crazy all day long. Yesterday I took everyone to our local Kindergym in the morning to play (and how much better now that Felix is walking, yay!) and as I sat on the side with my coffee watching all three I thought "I really, really love having boys. Having 3 boys." So sympathetic looks be damned ... won't everyone be clucking away in their seats at future Morgan weddings saying how nice it is that those three boys are such good friends and my, don't they look handsome together? Ha! I'm pretty sure I have a whole string of fantastic Mother's Days to look forward to, yes sirree.