departures and arrivals

We made it. Arrived in Duncan last Sunday night around 10pm. Long, long day but the kids were stellar, even Felix. But those first moments driving off the ferry onto the Island, those moments that I would be saying to myself We're here, on Island soil, I was too busy shushing and rocking a crying baby. I left as a carefree newlywed and returned as a distracted mother 9 years later, so I suppose it was quite fitting to have utterly missed the moment!

Now 10 days ago feels like another life, another person. Friday was spent packing the truck, packing the endless last minute items, and emptying out the house completely. And Eli was fantastic. We really could not have done it without him. He and Sam carried box after box after box into the truck, working all day with hardly a break. It was one of the most exhausting and never-ending days for me too but we were going on pure adrenaline and the fact that we had to leave town early the next morning. It was such a different experience for me this time, trying to pack and organize and clean with 3 little kids to take care of and feed all day long too. But like our entire time living there it was the unexpected and unselfish help of our friends who showed up at just the right moment and made it possible. Our friend and neighbor across the street, Autumn, even came out to our hotel for a few hours while the boys slept so Sam and I could get back to the house and finish. It was close to midnight when we turned off the lights and locked the door one last time. Sam and I each walked the house alone to say our goodbyes and I cried, heartbroken, listening to the sounds of memories past. Showing each newborn boy their room for the first time. Henry and Walter's laughter as they played together. Shrieking and splashing in the tub. The creak in the top stair. It is just a house, yes, and I still have my family with me ... but it was where I had my three babies and I didn't want to let that go. I cried so much that day.

Up at 5am Saturday morning though really Sam and I hardly slept at all. Eli drove the truck and we were in our car, making that long drive out west one last time. The kids were amazing travellers, though we did allow for quite a few repeats of Thomas the Tank Engine episodes and that helped to keep Henry and Walter occupied. Arrived in Vancouver the second afternoon where Eli's wife picked him up close to the ferries and then Sam took over driving the truck from there. Supper at Horseshoe Bay and finally the ferry ride over ... where it was Mum and Dad getting to the end of their patience and energy! Welcomed at the Morgan house just before 10pm with housecoat-ed parents, three sleeping children, and the biggest UHaul truck you can rent rather full to the gills.

So we have been here for a week now. Settled in. Very much so settled in as we've taken over three bedrooms and brought in our own beds and dressers to make it comfortable and functional. Henry knows we are staying for a long time but was surprised to find his toys here too, saying a few times that these were the toys at his house. And only once has he asked when we are going home, which broke my heart even though he was hardly upset and was simply wondering aloud. The kids really don't understand what is happening but I sense that they can feel a change ... Henry especially has been out of sorts a few days already. As have I.

I keep starting and stopping this paragraph telling how I feel ... but I don't really want to explain or confess that. And I don't want to hear just one more time You'll make new friends. The kids will never remember. This is the best time to move, when they're young. I wish someone would just say This must be really, really hard and yes, it might hurt for a long time. I suppose I will make new friends but I don't want to go through all these beginnings again. So whatever I feel or wish for or regret or miss ... it's just one day at a time. And someday I'll be surprised to realize it's two years later. Or even just two months later when I don't feel quite so lost.

The boys are loving being here and it's just perfect for them. The backyard is fully fenced in so they are in and out of the house all the time, running around in their rainboots and exploring everything they can. Henry's been wanting to pee in the grass every day and so he managed to do it in secret when we were all inside ... little did he know we were all watching from the window! And Walter and Henry have been pretending to be either a cat or a dog the past few days and they are seriously committed to keeping it up. There's alot of barking and crawling around the house and ignoring us unless we call them Puppy, it's very funny. And lastly I don't want to forget that on Friday night Walter finally, finally, finally started calling me Mumma! It was such a random moment but he's kept it up and is so proud of himself. And after a discouraging day myself it was a perfect pick-me-up. After I cried of course.

So here we are. And I finally got a blog out. Sam starts work tomorrow. Mad Men starts again tonight. I am so excited to be back where I can buy Island Farms' Moose Tracks ice cream. We have new BC phone numbers. I got a library card. My life is all in boxes in the garage. We still haven't sold our house. There's 3 Starbucks in town. I'm taking the boys to Kindergym tomorrow morning. And I'm so, so glad we were able to hook up my computer ... my lifeline.

Gotta go. Mad Men and ice cream are waiting!